purpose..

this is the 2nd blog of late night thoughts...something is brewing :)

I've maintained a healthy internet interaction with a girl in Hawaii for the past three years! And just recently we actually started to get to know each other. ..talking about religion, life, relationships, love..freedom. The internet can be a beautiful thing..sometimes. So, tonight we talked about coming to terms with who you are...supposed to be. What mental and emotional stress one goes through just to realize who they are, their purpose...destiny..raison d'etre.

I mentioned to her that i saw this program where women were just starting to feel comfortable in their skin. Already passing the stage of being a mom and wife...and realizing that they were gay. Ages were like, 40+...do i want that to be my story?? Now, I'm not speaking about the sexuality tip..but to live a life where i hid a part of me, no matter what it was...just a part of who i was, wanted to be..lived for.

i can't...i won't.

you shouldn't..don't.

The life! as cliche as this may sound...but life is too short. Why sing the shoulda, coulda, woulda's and regret NOT doing anything about your desire? I read once that we fear what we desire....i believe it. How many times have you not done something simply because you were afraid? Not gone somewhere because you feared the planning..or what others might think??

..i say F that!

why the heck should i be stagnant..for what and for whom??

I'm doing things differently these days...this journey, this ride called LIFE...as honest as it is..bringing pain, happiness, highs and lows...ima dodge the balls i can see and pray for the ones i can't.

RESPIRATION!..sleep on this..that's why God gave you night..